why we bully.

thinking about how we talk to kids about bullies, and it goes like this.

what do we need to grow? we know plants need food and light, soil, air.

what about us?

 if that is true, how do your friends have an impact on growing you? what is their intent? did you tell them that? how did they know? who decides how that feels for you?

so, when a friend does something kind, it makes you feel....


and you feel _____________- because.....

what if your friend said something mean.

what purpose does that serve? what is their intent?  HOW DID THEY KNOW? did they guess, or did you give them that information?

 who is responsible for how you feel?

do you agree or disagree with your friend? what do you think they are REALLY saying?

when someone says hurtful things, does that grow you?


what about when someone is kind. does that grow you? why or why not?


kids are so impacted by what others say. how can i help them see beyond that?